It's been almost a year since she passed on. Every day I think of her.
She was a good person. Sometimes I wonder why do bad things happen
to good people. My mom had her share of hard times and trials and
tribulations. But her faith never waivered.
I look up to her. She did so much for me and my sisters. I wanted to repay her
for all the things she did for me throughout the years. So, this time last year, we were
planning on visiting and lay down some new flooring in the house. I was excited to finally
be able to go back home and visit my family after three years of being out of state. My youngest
sister was graduating too, and it was a happy time for us.
But things don't go like we plan. My mom passed away on April 1, 2010 from a blood clot.
I was in complete and utter shock. I screamed and cried uncontrollably. I couldn't believe
this was happening. We drove from New York to Missouri, and all the way there I kept thinking
that she would be there waiting for us when we arrived. But when we got there, she wasn't there.
Me and my sisters had to plan the funeral and take out a loan we are finally almost done paying.
It's like a monthly reminder that she's gone. Sometimes it hurts a lot. No thanks to our aunts and
uncles, who tried to change the funeral and make it into something my mom wouldn't have wanted.
They didn't even offer to help us pay for it. So much for family. It's during times like these you find
out what their true colors are. And unfortunately, it was during our mom's death we found out that
our only family was each other--me and my sisters only.
Does it hurt? Yeah, it does to a certain extent. I mean, I've never been horribly close to my aunts
and uncles or my cousins, but to have your own family turn their backs on you during a hard time,
it's very hurtful.
The hardest part, was coming across a journal my mom kept for a short time after our dad left.
It was just so hard to read what she went through, and how much she really suffered because of
his infidelity and lies. And one day as we were outside, my dad showed up to say he was sorry
and ask if we needed anything. I told him he hadn't been here for several years, why show up
now? And I asked him how could he just leave our mom like that, with no money for food or the
bills? I looked into his eyes, and they were empty. And I could tell he was lying about everything he
was telling me. I called him a coward as he walked away.
A few days later, he wrote my youngest sister a letter saying he didn't appreciate the way I talked to him
and that he deserves respect. So I wrote him a letter telling him he doesn't deserve respect, especially
after all the lies and things he's done. I never heard back.
I know someday, I'll see my mom again. And that gives me comfort and peace.
Here's some pictures of my mom on her visit to Morocco in 2007:
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